i was out having a drink with Eric earlier. we talked about grown up stuffs. careers, money, r'ships, friendship - our future. i felt i've aged a few years. then again, i will be 25 next year. that's not young.
a few weeks back, when i suddenly realise that i will be 25 next year, it kinda shocked me. twenty five. it felt like only last year i was still in college. the time between high school and now seem to have gone so fast. twenty five years old...
anyway, back to the drink. he was telling me he recently met up with some of his old classmates who i know too. most of them sound like they're doing well. we left around midnight. immediately upon reaching home, a sudden feeling of sadness weighs down on me. i will be 25 next year yet i am still not doing anything with my life now. why? it's due to a lack of passion. in anything in life.
when i was in high skool, i loved basketball so much. no matter what time of day it was even if it was raining, i'd want to play! nvm i had to walk 15 mins to skool n back after that even tho i am all tired n stinkin from the sweat, it all did not matter so long as i got to play. that is the kind of passion i'm talking about. that is the kind of passion i'm looking for. that is the kind of passion i have somehow lost.
when i think back of some of the things i did when i was younger, i'm astonished how i had so much motivation n passion to do them. it was the depressive episode that took it all away. the depression is mostly gone now and it took away my motivation, enthusiasm and passion in life with it.
Monday, October 23, 2006
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